Have you ever looked in the mirror, anxious, disgusted, and ashamed, and thought to yourself, “ugh I feel fat”?
If you have, you’re definitely not alone. I would bet that even people who don’t struggle with dieting, binge eating, and body image have probably thought this about their bodies at least once.
And for the rest of us, it’s probably happened more times than we can count.
But the thing is… fat is not a feeling.
It is a descriptor and a type of tissue that EVERYONE has on their bodies.
Society has taught us that fat = bad and that if we try hard enough, we can fix and starve our bodies into “perfection”.
The truth is that fat is NOT a bad thing and there’s not a ton we can do about our bodies (95% of people who diet regain the weight lost within 5 years. There are currently no diets that have been proven successful for long-term weight loss and dieting is the number one predictor of weight gain). Weight and bodies change throughout our life. It’s normal. Some people are born bigger, some people are born smaller. (Read more on this here).
So when we describe a negative feeling as “feeling fat”, what we’re really doing is…
- Avoiding the real problem underneath (there is always a problem underneath – blaming our bodies never fixes the real problem)
- Making ourselves feel worse than we already feel
- Using language that is extremely harmful to people in bigger bodies
Our culture is horrible to fat people. Bigger bodies are discriminated against, provided worse medical care, literally prescribed life-threatening surgeries for their “condition”, are shamed by “concerned” family, friends, and strangers (even though you can’t tell anything about a person’s health by their body size). The list goes on (and has been well documented).
Knowing all of this, it’s no wonder we’re so scared of gaining weight. When we fear fat, what we’re really afraid of is that people aren’t going to love, respect, accept, or care for you because of your body. It’s terrifying and painful.
But even if we know all this, we still can’t help but feel this way sometimes. Especially if you’ve been dieting for years, you’ve probably trained yourself to respond to most negative feelings by criticizing and trying to fix your body. Shaming yourself for doing this isn’t helpful either because it STILL doesn’t fix the real issue.
That’s why I wrote an entire workbook to help you work through your feelings. I’m talking 10 pages of activities and explanations that will help you IDENTIFY, HONOR, AND ADDRESS the problems underneath.
This workbook is a series of steps I personally use EVERY TIME I’m having a bad body image day. Every time I’m feeling unworthy or unlovable in my body. Every time I feel out of control and bloated and angry and anxious and go searching for something to fix, I use these steps.
Here’s what you’ll learn by the end of this workbook:
- Understand why we feel fat and what it really means
- Learn how to identify what you’re REALLY feeling
- Develop tools for calming anxiety immediately
- Create real, positive solutions that will help you make peace with your body and change your life
- Be able to differentiate between the lies we tell ourselves when we’re upset and actual truths about fat and your body
- Learn how to talk back to your inner critic (even while looking in the mirror)
I think my favorite part of the workbook is the last section. In this section, you’ll learn how to talk to yourself and shut down your negative thoughts. Here’s an example of what that looks like:
Here’s what one person said about the section:
“I filled out the entire page of my own inner, negative dialogue and my new responses and the change has already been monumental. I’m so much kinder to myself now. I carry it in my bag with me at all times so when I get down I can read and remind myself. Changing self-hate / blame into recognizing that I’m having an off mental day and need to give some extra love to myself has helped me beyond words !!! I cannot thank you enough <3”
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